HUMOR – Letter of Resignation

An actual letter of resignation from an employee to her boss, (who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!)

Dear Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of “cut and paste” for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is “I prefer not to comment.” I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your “favorites list”, which I conveniently saved when you made me “back up” your useless files. I do believe that terms like “Lolita” are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to “take pictures of your Mother’s birthday”, you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.

Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day.

Cecelia

Robots with IQ-centric humor

A man walked into a very high-tech restaurant in a fancy hotel.

As he waited to be seated, he noticed that the Maitre D’ was a robot.

The robot clicked to attention and said, “Sir, there is a one hour wait.

And I am programmed to converse with you until a table is ready, If you please.”

Intrigued, the man said, “OK.”

The robot clicked a couple more times and then asked, “Sir, what is your IQ?

“The man answered, “Oh, about 164.”

The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, Interstellar space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc . .

The man was most impressed. The next day he returned, but thought he would try a different tack.

The robot again asked “What is your IQ, sir?” This time the man answered, “Oh, about 100″.

So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Red Sox to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So the next day he returned.

Again the robot asked the question, “What is your IQ?”

This time the man drawled out, ” Uh…..’bout 50.”

The robot clicked, then leaned close and very slowly asked,

“A-r-e
y-o-u-r
p-e-o-p-l-e
g-o-i-n-g
t-o
n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e
H-i-l-l-a-r-y?”

Two months without posts? Time for a laugh!

It’s not “Cut-n-Run”…

…it’s a “phased redeployment”. It’s begun. Well, the American people wouldn’t listen. God save the United States…

Source: New York Times

China sub secretly stalked U.S. fleet

Holy crap, how scary is this?

China sub secretly stalked U.S. fleet

Here, if that headline wasn’t enough to make you stop whatever you were doing, let me quote a few choice lines from the story:

…the submarine is equipped with Russian-made wake-homing torpedoes and anti-ship cruise missiles.

. . .

“It will likely happen again, only because Chinese submarine captains of 40 to 50 new modern submarines entering their navy will want to test their mettle against the 7th Fleet.”

. . .

Between 2002 and last year, China built 14 new submarines, including new Song-class vessels and several other types, both diesel- and nuclear-powered.

Scared yet? Now for the kicker…

Additionally, military intelligence officials said Adm. Fallon has restricted U.S. intelligence-gathering activities against China, fearing that disclosure of the activities would upset relations with Beijing.

The restrictions are hindering efforts to know more about China’s military buildup, the officials said.

It’s happening again. We can’t get good intelligence and we’re going to be sitting there swinging our dicks when they attack and there will be people wanting to know why our leaders didn’t “connect the dots”. I only hope that the folks in Washington are paying attention.

US university president poses with ’suicide bomber’

Source: Jerusalem Post

I just don’t know what to make of this. The President of the University of Pennsylvania, Dr. Amy Guttman, who is herself Jewish, recently posed (SMILING!) for a picture at her Halloween party with engineering student Saad Saadi, who was dressed as a SUICIDE BOMBER.



How stupid does IS this woman? To make matters worse, this asshole went around all night long at the party, conducting faux executions.

In one instance, Saadi stands over a fellow student crouched on the ground, and points a gun at her head while reciting verses from the Koran.

In another image, Saadi poses with an unidentified child as he points Saadi’s toy gun at the camera.

Then the next day, said terrorist-wannabe was quoted as saying he went as a “freedom martyr”. It’s just unbelievable that this could have been allowed to take place. We have learned nothing about the events of 5 years ago. This university president needs to be fired.

“Of course Americans should vote Democrat”

No, that quote isn’t from John Kerry, or Howard Dean or Hillary Clinton. No, that bit of electoral advice comes to you courtesy of Jihad Jaara, a senior member of the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, the terrorist group affiliated with the late Yassar Arafat’s PLO.

Granted, reading some of the comments by Jihad Jaara and the others in this article, one might think that they were members of the Democrat Party, since they both want the same thing — American troops out of the Middle East. Trouble is, the terrorists understand what that would mean in the long run. I’m not sure the Democrats do.

They rejected statements from some prominent Democrats in the U.S. that a withdrawal from Iraq would end the insurgency, explaining an evacuation would prove resistance works and would compel jihadists to continue fighting until America is destroyed.

. . .

In a recent interview with CBS’s “60 Minutes,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, stated, “The jihadists (are) in Iraq. But that doesn’t mean we stay there. They’ll stay there as long as we’re there.”

Pelosi would become House speaker if the Democrats win the majority of seats in next week’s elections.

WND read Pelosi’s remarks to the terror leaders, who unanimously rejected her contention an American withdrawal would end the insurgency.

Islamic Jihad’s Saadi, laughing, stated, “There is no chance that the resistance will stop.”

. . .

Jihad Jaara said an American withdrawal would “mark the beginning of the collapse of this tyrant empire (America).”

“Therefore, a victory in Iraq would be a greater defeat for America than in Vietnam.”

All emphasis above is mine.

The Democrats and the people who intend to vote for them “just to get rid of those damned Republicans” don’t understand that this would NOT be the end of terrorism, but rather the beginning of a whole new era, where they (the terrorists) bring the fight to US … HERE in the United States … September 11th will look like a cakewalk if they become emboldened by a Democrat victory next Tuesday. I fear for our country if the Democrats regain even partial power. It will be bad enough with the gridlock that will continue, but to think how much closer this brings World War III to our doorstep should cause even the most partisan Democrat to stop and think before pulling that ballot next week. I’m just not sure if it will though.

Read the full story at WorldNetDaily.

U.S. Political News…

It’s starting already. The election hasn’t even happened yet and the Democrats are looking to throw out the military vote

From the “Duh!” files: “Lobbyists Could Change If Democrats Win“. I’m trying to remember an article like this back in ‘94 when the Republicans were swept into power after 40 YEARS. I’m sure if there was, there was a different tone in the reporter’s writing (more like “The sky is falling!”).

Unbelievable. Since they can’t swap beer and liquor for votes, the Democrats try free flu shots ! Mayor says, “Not so fast…”.

Thanks to the F-117A Nighthawk (Stealth Fighter) and enjoy your retirement. Well done, good and faithful servant.

Kerry: Open mouth, insert foot

You’ve just GOT to love how John Kerry is so elitist that he sees NOTHING wrong with bashing the troops if he thinks that it will score political points against the GOP…they he turns it around and blames the REPUBLICANS of playing “dirty politics”. The hypocrisy stinks to high heaven. A little timeline for those of you who’ve been asleep the past 24 hours (links courtesy of Drudge):

• Kerry makes a speech saying if you don’t study and get educated, you’ll end up in Iraq. The implication: That only dimwits are over there fighting in the U.S. military.
  
• President Bush, in a later speech, calls a spade a spade and demands that Kerry apologize to the military.
  
• Next, the American Legion got involved (and you DON’T want these guys pissed at you), demanding that Kerry APOLOGIZE NOW.
  
• But, Kerry, being the elitist that he is, saw nothing wrong in what he said and tries to spin it as a slam on the President, not the troops: “I apologize to no one for my criticism of the president and of his broken policy.”
  
• I guess us “dimwits” just didn’t get that from his initial insult (that it was aimed at the President). Neither did this mother whose son died in Iraq:

  “I am very disturbed. I am very insulted and very sad that he doesn’t understand how highly educated and well trained our military men and women are,” said Debra Booth, whose son was killed in Iraq.

• Still not catching the clue, Kerry was uninvited to a campaign event for a Democrat running for Congress in Iowa.

  Brucy Braley says Kerry’s recent comments about the Iraq war were inappropriate.

• Maybe catching a clue that he’d opened up a can of worms, Kerry himself decided to back out of a second campaign appearance in Minnesota, ostensibly to keep the focus on the issues, not himself. Sorry John, but your elitist attitude and lack of respect for our military IS an important issue for folks to consider next Tuesday.
  
• Next he backed out of a campaign appearance for Bob Casey in Pennsylvania.
  
• Tennessee’s Harold Ford asks Kerry to apologize.

  “Whatever the intent, Senator Kerry was wrong to say what he said,” Rep. Ford said. “He needs to apologize to our troops.”

• And now an unnamed Democrat gives voice to my thoughts (though his were pessimistic while mine were optimistic) that Kerry has done it again.

  A Democratic congressman told ABC News Tuesday, “I guess Kerry wasn’t content blowing 2004, now he wants to blow 2006, too.”

• Don Imus with John Kerry on the phone: “Please stop it. Stop talking. Go home, get on a bike, go wind-surfing, anything! Stop it! You’re going to ruin this!“.
  

That’s right John. You just keep that head up your ass for another 7 days. I’m sure that you’re right ( /sarcasm ).

In the meantime, go cast your vote with ABC News as to whether or not YOU think he was bashing the troops.

1st Amendment Censorship in Georgia

The Regular Guys fired in Georgia

From Larry Wach’s website:

As you may have heard, The Regular Guys Show has been terminated once again by Clear Channel Radio. In the past week, my partner, Eric Von Haessler, and I have been silent during a paid suspension while we awaited the results of a company investigation into a minor incident that has since snowballed into something that now demands a public response due to the fact that the principals on the other side are attempting to distort the facts and smear my reputation as a citizen and broadcaster and, in the short term, withhold my income without review or discussion with us.

All of this current mess took root, to my knowledge, in March, when the first national Hispanic illegal alien protests were taking place. We were doing our show in Orlando, from Braves spring training. Listeners started calling us on the air to get our opinion of the boycotts that were going on throughout the metro area and in other major cities across America. As the calls increased in volume, it became the only topic that day as it was on many talk shows across the country.

At one point in the show, we asked a producer to go down the hall and invite Yogi and Panda from Viva 105.7, also owned by Clear Channel, on the air to discuss the issue since some listeners had told us that they were exhorting their audience to boycott and take the day off. They agreed to come on and were ushered into our studio with our board operator, and we had a spirited discussion on the air.

In subsequent days, they complained to local Clear Channel management that they had been “disrespected” and that we should be lectured and punished for being in disagreement and making humorous comments about their point of view, all of which occurred exclusively on the air. Clear Channel management told them on more than one occasion that the opinions we express on the air are fair game, as are theirs, and protected not only by CC company policy, but also the 1st Amendment, and that if they didn’t want to look bad on the air, perhaps they shouldn’t agree to come on our show in the future. Nonetheless, the complaints continued unbeknownst to me through the year.

Fast forward to two weeks ago.

I was in the restroom down the hall from our studios after our broadcast was over on October 9, 2006. I carry a voice recorder on me and had it out to make some notes for a show meeting five minutes hence. Into the restroom walked Mr. Tapia and Mr. Carias who passed me at the urinal and headed for the two stalls in the corner. It’s a small restroom and there is no way they could not have seen me, further evidenced by the recording of them yelling insults at me from behind the stall doors which proves they knew I was there, knew I was recording, blowing up their claims of expectation of privacy, and that they still had an axe to grind about my on air opinions going back 7 months. They refused to talk to me like men. They chose to go into the bathroom stall and shout epithets in Spanish, not knowing I understand enough to know they were insulting me. Never have I engaged them in anymore than a simple wave hello off the air in the entire time we both worked there. In addition, the company has approved similar bits like this in the past.

This sparked another round of complaints to the company, who offered reasonable solutions to satisfy their ongoing and baseless grievances, but, insisting it was about the “honor of their culture,” Mr. Tapia and Mr. Carias went ahead and filed the criminal charge in Fulton County Magistrate Court against me and then filed civil complaints in Superior Court of Fulton County, GA against the company for “negligent hiring” and harassment and invasion of privacy chargess against me personally, omitting in the affidavit the salient fact that all remarks made about them and immigration were on the air, never off the air.

I have been more than willing, at the company’s request, to agree in writing not to even so much as speak of Yogi and Panda on the air going forward, for the sake of company harmony, and clear up any misconceptions they have about my opinion of them personally, which was on the favorable side, since they serve their audience well and deliver good ratings numbers and revenue.

A case of a humorous prank has turned into a culture clash, a suppression of 1st Amendment rights, and a ridiculous smear campaign against me as well as termination of my income without due process.

This outrageous attempt at stomping their 1st Amendment rights needs to be investigated and stopped ! Where are the ACLU on this ? I thought they were supposed to be RIGHT THERE when it comes to “free speech rights” ? Spread the word to everyone you know. The line must be drawn HERE !

Hat tip to Wild Bill at Passionate America
Ms Underestimated has the contact info for 96Rock in Atlanta
Jake at Freedom Folks has a great rant about this. Go read it.